literature

PoA Abridged

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Boku: :v
         I sorta changed my mind on joining PoA :v

Hedge: w h y?

Beebs: *paps*

Boku: cause I ain't confident in catching up in group
         activity

Moss: Cause he's a lAME NERD

Boku: r00d

Hedge: ARC 2 IS LITERALLY STARTING OVER IN A WAY THO???
           
           
Beebs: *agrees*

Pokestar: Neither was I, but look at me now! Procrastination at its finest. Jk

Hedge: but BOKU!
          There's literally nothing to catch up on
           
Issac: Nothing to catch up on? Are we rewinding time?

Hedge: And if you want I can sum up everything right now
           I can do a super abridged version of all the things that have happened. rn.

Boku: But Hedge ;w;

Hedge: PoA Abridged
           Ok. *Rolls up sleeves*
           Here we go!
           OK SOOOOOOOOO...
           
Once UPON A TIME,
           
A snek named Alaric STOLE SOME LAND
           CAUSE IT DIDNT HAVE ANYONE'S NAME ON IT
           SO WHY NOT

Moss: Uhm, BORROWED.

Hedge: 
and he made it his Kingdom
           
But then an ABSOL was like
           You gotta go through some PERSONAL TRIALS AND FIGHT MY MUSCLE COW
           and so they did
           And then they had a festival

Moss: muscle cow

Beebs: m-muscle cow...

Hedge: 
When suddenly FAIRY TYPES!
           
AND JACKSON???
           ALSO MEGA EVOLUTION!
           
JINGLE PUNCHES GAWAIN IN THE FACE IN THAT ONE!
           
ANYWAY...
           After that,
           LUGIA SHOWED UP IN SAZANAMI!
           
and was like
           AAAAAHHHHH!
           And Sazanami was like
           AAAAAAAAAAAA

Boku: ye

Pokestar begins to write this down

Hedge: But that got resolved!
           
Uhhhhhh I FORGET THE NEXT MISSION...

Pokestar: get to the whale!

Hedge: ANYWAY THE 4TH MISSION I CANT REMEMBER...

Moss: 
4th was uh...
         
Another trial

Hedge: 
The 5th mission
           I don't even know if I should bring that up hahaha
           ILL PUT IT THIS WAY,
           A DOG AND A BAT GOT MARRIED.

Moss: 
Yeah they did

Pokestar: seems legit

Hedge: 
NEXT MISSION!
           
uh
           
I FORGET THAT ONE TOO

Moss: 
Bigger dog was murdered

Hedge: 
NEXT MISSION!

Moss: 
6 was uhhhh...

Hedge: 
I THINK???
           
IS THE TRIAL OF EMOTION?
           
or was that 6?

Beebs: 
that one was fun :' )
          
and by fun, i mean "rip anne and marcel and wyndham becuase hoLLLLLYYYYY ****"

Hedge: 
Was 6 the trial of emotion?
          ANYWAY...
          IN THAT TRIAL,
          
INDIANS FORCED EVERYONE TO TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS!
          THERE WAS SOME CRYING INVOLVED AND MAYBE CHARACTER GROWTH.

Moss: That's not what I remember happening in the Emotion trial...

Hedge: NEXT MISSION!
          ...dammit I don't remember these in order anymore uh...
          DRACUL FLIRTED WITH EVERYONE.
          
AND KEPT HITTING ON THEM WHILE EVERYONE ELSE HIT THE GHOSTS IN HIS YARD

Moss: 
I mean,
         Yeah
         Dracul likes to flirt with all

Hedge: this actually involved phantumps, Boku

Boku: 
:0 I love phantumps!

Hedge: 
Sorry this one might trigger you...
          
THEY GOT THEIR BUTTS KICKED THO

Boku: nooo not the phantump!

Hedge: 
ALL OF THE PHANTUMP

Moss: 
Not all the Phantump

Hedge: 
ALL OF THEM MOSS!

Pokestar: All of them?

Boku: 
noo!

Hedge: 
YES
          ANYWAY...

Moss: We beat up a Trevenant, then the rest of the Phantump went about their afterlives cause they weren't being controlled anymore

Hedge: 
NEXT MISSION!
          ...GOSH DAMMIT, I DONT REMEMBER THAT ONE EITHER...
          MISSION 9!
          ALARIC MARRIED TARA
          SHE IS A GOOD QUEEN AND AN IMPORTANT SNAKE

Moss: You...
         
Aren't too great at abridged

Hedge: 
IM THE BEST AT IT, SHUSH!

Moss: 
YOU'VE FORGOTTEN HALF THE MISSIONS!

Hedge: 
IM RECAPPING ALL OF THE IMPORTANT STUFF!

Beebs: 
what if the other things were important, smh

Hedge: 
ANYWAY ALARIC AND TARA DECIDED TO CELEBRATE THEIR MARRIAGE BY MURDERING A GARCHOMP!

Pokestar: Dang...

Hedge: 
AND THEY COVERED IT UP BY MAKING A GAME OF IT!

Boku: oh dang

Hedge: 
BUT THEN ALARIC ALMOST GOT MURDERED
          AND NOBODY WAS COOL WITH THE IDEA OF MURDER
          DOUBLE STANDARD MUCH???

Moss: We uh...
         
We didn't murder the Garchomp.
         
We pretended to murder the Garchomp for a murder mystery
         
Panda girl was the killer and Vrikrar was the best godang detective in Avalon!

Hedge: 
NOT TRUE, DONT LISTEN TO MOSS
          ANYWAY...
          NEXT MISSION!
          
AND LEMME TELL YA
          
IM AN EXPERT ABOUT THIS ONE!
          I KNOW AAAAAAAAAAAALL ABOUT M10
          THE BIG KAHUNA!
          SO 
A UNICORN BROKE INTO ALARICS CASTLE AND TOLD HIM SAZANAMI NEEDED HELP
          SO ALARIC WAS LIKE "I DUNNO"

Boku: 
then kyogre :v?

Hedge: 
NOT YET!

Pokestar: 
get to the whale!

Hedge: 
BUT THEN HE HAD A FLASHBACK ABOUT DRACUL TELLING HIM A STORY ABOUT ROMEO AND JULIET BUT WITH BUGS
           
IT WAS SO NEEDLESSLY LONG, I SKIMMED IT

Moss: 
Excuse, those bugs were good people!

Hedge: THEY DIDNT DO ANYTHING MOSS!
          ANYWAY...
          ALARIC WAS LIKE
          "Welp he also told me I'm the chosen one, so I guess I am!
          LETS GET INVOLVED IN OTHER NATIONS' BUSINESS!
"
          SO HE DID(edited)
          HE SMUGGLED ALL OF HIS CITIZENS INTO THE NATION
          THEN GOT PISSED WHEN THEY GOT CAUGHT FOR TRESPASSING
          EVEN THOUGH THEY LITERALLY TRESPASSED????????
          LIKE ALARIC YOU'RE NOT A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE...
          
YOU HAVE TO PLAY BY THE RULES OF OTHER LANDS

Boku: 
hhh hedge, what I mean is that me being active in the groupp

Hedge: it's too late you've unleashed the abridged!
          SO THEN EVERYONE BROKE OUT OF JAIL
          BUT ITS OK CAUSE AFTER THAT WE had tea and wore kimonos it was a good time!
          Memes were made and fun was had!

Boku: bears were created

Hedge: 
BUT AFTER THAT,
           3 WARLORDS MADE US DO MANUAL LABOR!
           AND THEN A BUNCH OF BUGS SHOWED UP!

Moss: After that, Heg ruined the mission for everyone
         she personally did that
         
that's why we mocked her on the front page!

Boku: 
wow heg, how dare!

Hedge: 
AND EVERYONE GOT TELEPORTED AROUND THE WORLD A COUPLE OF TIMES
          
CAUSE WHO CARES IF THE MEMBERS ARE CONFUSED,
          WE GOTTA STORY TO SHOVE DOWN UR THROATS!
          114 PAGES WORTH OF WORDS FOLKS!
          THEN A FAT ASS DRUGGIE FROG SHOWED UP INSULTED EVERYONE A FEW TIMES AND DIED

Boku: was his name wart?

Hedge: 
DRAMA ENSUED AMONGST THE WARLORDS,
          OLD LADIES WERE TORTURED BEYOND BELIEF,
          AND THEN KYOGRE SHOWED UP

Boku: then you go "Hello kyogre, you got a lovely face don't you, tell me the name of your dentist plz"

Hedge: 
IT WAS BASICALLY THE ENDING OF SONIC ADVENTURE.
          
SO THEN ALARIC FELT LIKE HE DID SOMETHING
          AND HE WENT HOME AND GOT SCOLDED BY HIS WIFE
          BUT THEN THEY KISSED AND MADE UP BY HAVING A SNOWBALL FIGHT
          the end

Boku: =w=

Moss: 
Then there were bears again.

The end


When you need to explain ten missions worth of story to someone, just ask Hedge to do it.

Participants:

Hedge - :iconhedgermins:
Moss - :iconmoss-stone:
Boku - :iconbokurei-san:
Beebs - :iconibeebs:
Issac - :iconihmh1464:
Pokestar - Me!
© 2017 - 2024 pokestar249
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HunterOrion21's avatar
omfg.

I need to pay attention more often